I have held my tongue long enough! I can't go another minute without ranting about the stupidity of my fellow Utahns. When did this bizarre name craze begin? When did it become socially acceptable for us to start calling our children the most outlandish, hard-to-pronounce, ridiculous names? Not only are people in Utah naming their kids silly names, they are spelling them strangely too. I realize that everyone in this world wants to be unique. I also realize that people want their child to have a name that stands-out from a crowd, and that no one else has. But seriously...when are we going to draw the line? When are we going to pull the plug on these people and their moronic, imbecilic, names? If you can't name your child something decent or pronounceable, you don't deserve to have children! Life is hard enough without having to fight off school bullies because your parents were idiots, and named you Gaylord Focker.
After much research and deliberation, I have compiled and narrowed the field to the Top 30 Worst Utah Names I have heard (so far). And yes, these are all real first names, that belong to real people, complete with the "correct" spelling. Here they are in no particular order, and separated by category. Please feel free to vote for your favorite, and/or submit a name of your own (and hopefully it doesn't belong to your child).
The Good
10. Cru
9. Dykell
8. Hayven
7. Paiden
6. Kiesen
5. Teigun
4. Kishtiann
3. Tyland (Is this an actual location?)
2. Rayce
1. Randon
*Just getting warmed up!
The Bad
10. Kareamy (I'd still like to know how you pronounce this)
9. Quest
8. Gage
7. Steinar
6. Melville and Bronte (For the literary minded)
5. Braxton (As in Hicks)
4. Tregan
3. Talon
2. Presleigh
1. Jaxon, Jaxson, Jaxton or Jaxston. (It's still ugly to look at no matter how you spell it)
The Ugly
10. Zhaun
9. Ocean
8. Gunner
7. Ryrie
6. Dowel (As in Dowry + Towel?)
5. Foreman
4. Badge
3. Burley
2. Stetson (Love that cologne)
1. Rowdy (It doesn't get more Lehi than Rowdy, Stetson, or Burley)
If none of these names has struck you as strange or dumb, it's probably because: A. You have a child/children with one of these names. B. You are so desensitized to the "bad name craze" that it has now become your societal norm, or C. You couldn't care less.
7 comments:
Um, I dunno, I kinda likes "ocean"...
Ye fergot all them La-names too Meggie. I used ta werk with a fella name o' Bud, last name Donahoo, whose wife was named LaDonna.
I think the worst are Rayce, Tyland, and Badge. Terrible. What happened to Vader being on the list? Gotta love the Utah names!
Oh Yes.. You are so right! I do have to admit, Yes Heather..Vader for a girl is one of the worst. But really Cru?
I think the worst is Melville,Dowel, Badge and Ryrie. But, as much as I agree with your point about Utah, I know a:
Utah
Tawn
Cage
Cane ( who would do this?? )
Gunther
popeye
And... you could do a whole list of Hollywood people, and what they name their babies.. I love Gwenyth, but Apple??? And Michael Jackson naming his son Blanket? I am not sure if there is any normal named children of Hollywood lately..
What??? I remember when Braydon was an unusual Utah name... but Kareamy?!?! Thank goodness I live in California! (with Apple and Blanket)
Megan, this post was hilarious. Thanks for giving me a good laugh. It makes me feel better that I stuck with boring and normal names :) Love you girl!!
I had "Foreman" and "Badge" all lined up for the rest of my posterity.
So sad and yet so funny.
Megan the funniest & saddest part about all these names.... I've heard or KNOW people with MOST of them. Gotta love the valley.
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