8. Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton. The chorus reads: "Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas. I'm barely getting through tomorrow." What does that mean exactly? What is a hard candy Christmas, but more importantly, why should I care? Dolly, next time try speaking English instead of honky tonk.7. Joy to the World by Manheim Steamroller. To be fair, I hate everything by Manheim Steamroller, but this one takes the cake in cheesetastic holiday fare. I love that these guys rock out hardcore and take themselves so seriously.
6. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer by Dr. Elmo. This song is just too white trash for me. Every time I hear it I feel like I should be sitting in my double wide at the trailer park and eating processed cheese from a can.
5. Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney. The awful synth sounds coming from this song should be flushed down the toilet. And the fact that it repeats itself over and over and over again, makes me want to clean out my ears with bleach. I love you Paul, but please keep your Christmas music to yourself.
4. Mary Did You Know? (any version, but especially Clay Aiken). While I think the lyrics are quite beautiful, I have yet to hear a version of this song that wasn't completely butchered by the singer. Most artists have tried to make this their Christmas power ballad, and it just ends up sounding like a gospel song gone wrong.
3. Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano. Christmas music was never meant to be infused with mariachi, and this song is living proof of that. While I appreciate the attempt at ethnic diversity, the repetitive lyrics and lame trumpet riffs make this Christmas dish nearly inedible.
2. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas by Gayla Peevey. Besides the fact that this is just a stupid song, singer Gayla Peevey has to go and have the most obnoxious voice in the entire world. Listening to her sing this song is like listening to nails on a chalkboard. I dare you to try and make it to the end!
1. Christmas Shoes by NEWSONG. Where to even start with this song? The terribly sappy storyline? The Kenny-Rogers-wannabe singing it? The awful monotone chorus? The dead mother wearing new shoes? Take your pick. This song is everything that is wrong with the commercial Christmas season. Every time it comes on the radio I either turn off the volume or change the station. "Momma went to meet Jesus" because she couldn't stand listening to you sing this awful song! P.S. Is it just me, or could the group that sings "Christmas Shoes" also be guilty of singing "Butterfly Kisses"? I hate that stupid song too.
10 comments:
Megan,
I almost peed my pants over this one! My friend Kristen absolutely LOATHES the Christmas song too. Ironically today, she posted her hate for the very same song. You two are on the same vibe! Thanks for the laugh today! LOVE YOUR GUTS!! -Suzanne
4 of those would be on my list!
Everytime I hear about Christmas shoes.. I can see Heather singing "her version" of it!
hahahaha
PS: I just vote that Clay Aiken doesn't sing anymore.
Two of those are my top favorite Christmas songs! But then again, i'm southern so you can take a guess to which two those are and then the rest i had never heard of myself...LOL
oh well, they rock to me :)
And i also second that Clay NEVER sing anymore either LOLOL
Oh I wholly agree with every single song on this list! "Christmas Shoes" and "Mary Did You Know" are the WORST! I would just like to add that Jessica Simpson shouldn't sing Christmas songs either. Bleh!
Agreed on every single one except Wonderful Christmas time. I understand why you hate it, it just doesn't bother me for some reason? But the others...I couldn't have said it better. Did I tell you about Scott singing I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas? He thought the words were "I want to get to the bottom of the Christmas". He sang it to our whole family trying to be funny but didn't realize that he was singing the wrong words. I laughed so hard!
Greg would also tell you that you have "no heart" for hating Christmas shoes! haha He loves Manheim Steamroller too. I guess that explains why Def Leppard is his favorite band. LOL
Love this post!!
I was laughing out loud on your Christmas Shoes one. I can't stand that song either and I always change the station. -cheryl
"Jingle Bell Rock" is also just...wrong.
For what it's worth: I agree with most: 8.Never heard it 7. I thought I was the only one that hated M.S. 6. Totally agree 5. Funny. I never cared for it either
4. Great potential, incredible lyrics; hasn't had a singer do it justice (hate the countified versions)3. Agree - corny 2. My kids sang this at school 1. Never heard it (which is a blessing it seems)
Ahh, as if I couldn't love you any more than I already do. You are too hilarious sis.
I agree with all of these!!.. except for wonderful christmas time. Paul Mccartney knows what's up Meg.
I think that I want to add to your list "We wish you a Merry Christmas" to your list. Something about not leaving a house and demanding "figgy Pudding", just not very Christmasy to me. I'm just sayin! Ha!-Suzanne
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